Self validating emotions rowupdating new value
If you can acknowledge their suffering and, acknowledge that the distortions of reality are troubling to them then their stress will go down; they will feel that someone finally understands.
If you decide that they should be acting differently –”more normally” -you are not validating them and the person will feel criticized. I encourage you to look at your loved one in a different way which will help you to change your approach and you will have more positive interactions with them.
Think about a time you got hit with a large and unexpected bill, you might have felt worried or mad.
Think about a time you lost someone you loved, and experienced grief.
You need to understand that they believe their reality even if, to you, it is not logical.To understand validation we need to understand the biosocial theory of BPD.The Main tenet of Linehan’s biosocial theory is that “the core disorder in BPD is emotional dysregulation.Not only will this practice deepen the bond and connection with your child, but it will also impact their self-esteem and self-expression.An overview of Valerie Porr’s Book Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change (2010).* Families must try new strategies especially when their loved one refuses to get help.
A way to validate that child’s feelings would be to say “it is so frustrating when the right shirt isn’t clean, that must make you feel very mad.” This let’s the child know that you understand them, and that their feelings are real, but it doesn’t necessarily change the outcome.