Invalidating childhood environment
Genetics usually only ensure that the childhood environment doesn't have a blank canvas to work on, but sometimes people literally were born that way.If you really want a better grasp of these disorders, it helps to get a basic understanding of evolution and the process of natural selection.The tone surprised me, given that he was a mentor, not just some guy. It’s not like I hadn’t had my share of silly conversations with men — but I was married. But, still, I wasn’t the kind of girl to be sexting with some random guy — or even a guy I knew. I didn’t know what to do: if I was too harsh with him, would he end my working relationship with her? She and the wife were good friends — didn’t I see how I was ruining their marriage?I wasn’t quite sure what sexting was since I didn’t even sext with my ex-husband (maybe that was part of the problem). Vulnerable, confused, I took this abuse from her as she screamed into the phone WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE HIM STOP? I’m sorry,” he responded with a bad soap opera line.It's believed these people act the way they do because as a child they were overexposed to situations where the behavior had survival value, reinforcing it.So they never learned to shift gears when the situation calls for it.People with personality disorders will keep doing the same thing regardless of results.While it can be a trying experience to be around people with these disorders, keep in mind that Real Life people suffer from these disorders.
They're called personality styles when they don't cause problems.
According to I’m in a completely different place now, seven years later.
I’ve written two books on my experiences as a childhood sexual abuse survivor with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. All sexual abuse is bad, and it’s not a competition. Feel free to share below or share my post if you feel it can make a difference.
Though I didn’t feel I accepted responsibility for his behavior, it was obvious they all needed to blame someone, anyone, other than the person who did it.
And that right there is classic victim-blaming: “Anytime someone defaults to questioning what a victim could have done differently to prevent a crime, he or she is participating, to some degree, in the culture of victim-blaming.” Some even questioned whether this kind of action is ‘even sexual harassment at all.’ I asked that myself, as survivors of previous trauma tend to minimize what happens to them. ’ or ‘Don’t make a big deal out of it,’ our common refrains, which is seriously fucked up.
An acquaintance I was doing some work for at the time had put us in touch, thinking he could help me build my business. Imagine my surprise the next morning when I received long emails from both the acquaintance and his wife, firing me from the gig and accusing me of , etc….placing all the blame for his behavior on me.