Dating workaholic man
I’m guessing there are other readers out there that feel this way, especially when both people are working in the same field, firm, company, etc.How do we deal with this competitive nature so that it doesn’t destruct an otherwise perfectly good relationship?Particularly, you should make sure that your 10-year plans are compatible: for example, if either of you plan/hope-to off-ramp (or have your partner off-ramp) when kids enter the picture, that is something that should be discussed now.Finally: I just asked a friend who just got engaged to an over-achieving, busy guy (albeit in a different field), for her advice for reader S.On her one day off she was shattered and was keen to do all of her chores, washing, tidying, etc. If I saw her when she got home at 9.30pm – obviously she would be really tired.If I saw her on another day when she’d been up at 5am, she would be really tired again on the night.Rather than being competitive, try to see his successes as your successes as well.Appreciate and support his career and his successes, and those favors & support will be returned. Not always, but often the happier/more satisfied a person is in his/her career, the happier he/she will be in the relationship, so be supportive.
But I also think some of us have an entirely different problem where we date someone who is equally ambitious and busy.She said: I would say yes, make each other a priority, respect each other’s time. Understand that at certain times, each of your careers will be at pivotal/high-stress points, and recognize that you need to be extra-supportive at those times.Sometimes your career will be up/down, and sometimes his will — it’s all cyclical.[For two people in the same field,] I guess they could try to support each other and build each other up, and to transfer that competitive energy to something else.Or just look to Mary Matlin and James Carville or the Clintons for inspiration!
Let’s also assume that conditions on the day of the interview are identical and, thus, neither you nor the interviewer is in a bad mood because of the weather or some personal trouble.